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  • Baby Bird on muh foot

    posted on Monday, June 6th @ 11 am | jozimmerman

    Cell phone cameras have made it more and more difficult to live in the present. It can’t be healthy for every human to possess the ability to take both pictures and video, at any time, all the time. I was recently taking a walk when a baby bird hopped on my foot. That sounds like it needs an explanation, but that’s literally what happened: me walking – baby bird – I stop – bird hops on foot – nestles in.

    Wow, is that a real bird??

    Holy crap, what's that bird doing on that shoe?

    Now, here is where I could have had this beautiful Pocahontas moment, but instead I thought, “Better get a picture!” So I break out the cell phone, and start snapping away (clickity, click, click…hold still baby bird!).

    Here is a bird, that is on my foot. Amazing right?

    Then I’m uploading it to Facebook, while it’s still perched on my foot. Like, “Hey everyone, check out this crazy bird on my foot! Isn’t this fascinating?” At this point, I’m completely ignoring the bird, which is still treating my shoe like a nest.

    What? How is that at all interesting, to anyone other than me, while it’s happening? Like people are going to come across and go, “Oooooh! Baby bird on a shoe, that just made my day! Because I can’t think of anything more interesting on the INTERNET. I could have been watching a YouTube video of a an eagle attacking a goat (SUCCESSFULLY), but for my money I’ll take baby bird on Joe’s shoe. Can’t even tell for sure it’s Joe’s shoe, but I’ll take his word for it – don’t see any reason that he would lie about that.

    Here is the video of the Eagle that hunts goats (much more interesting than pictures of a bird on my shoe): WARNING: multiple goats harmed in this video, by extremely bad-ass eagle:

    I know right, AMAZING! Did you stay until the end when the eagle FLIES off with the goat, and carries it to its nest?? Watching this video was the first time I’ve ever thanked YouTube, out loud.

    The point is, there is no need for pictures of baby birds on my shoe. In that moment, I became the annoying person who posts every experience, “Hey everybody, look at me! Here’s what’s happening to ME right now! Isn’t it crazy??” No, it’s really not – see again “Golden Eagle drags goats off cliff.”